Says No One EVER! 10 Statements That Have Never Been Spoken

Welcome To The Weekend

It’s finally Friday, the gateway to the weekend. We’ve made it through Christmas and the work week (for those of us who worked through the holiday). Lets take a break from all of the frustration and anxiety of the last five days, and perhaps, chuckle a little. Cool?

Ten Things That No One Would Ever Say 

1) I have way too much money.

2) No, YouTube. I would not like to skip this long boring ad in five seconds.

3) I can’t wait to get my prostate checked. (courtesy of my good friend Chris Foxx.  Obviously, I do not have a prostate.)

4) I encourage my children to keep lights and appliances on, even when they are not in use. Because low energy bills really suck!

5) Smoking cigarettes improved my asthma.

6) (To boss or manager) I was late to work today because, well, I didn’t want to come to work.

7) I love it when all of the neighborhood children get together and express themselves, loudly.

8) Tacos. YUCK!

9) I enjoy waking up to a sink full of dishes. Who wouldn’t?

10) I lost 50 pounds on the bread and potato diet!

Enjoy your weekend, my friends!

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.”

~Maya Angelou