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When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Be Yourself, But Be Accountable

No, I’m sorry; this article will not be about the hilarious Dave Chappelle skits — well, not exactly, but it may resemble the skits, in theory, a little bit.

Yes, I’ve been on a kick, of sorts, trying to convince you that one of the best things that you can do for yourself (if you really want to live a happy life) is: A) let the Universe guide your mind and soul, and follow their lead, and B) don’t be afraid to be who you truly are inside.

I understand that both A and B are not easy to do — especially if it goes against what you are trained to do or believe. However, they are attainable. I know this because I’ve attained them both. The results have been that I don’t worry about things anymore, I am able to stay in the moment, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time. Am I happy with my position in life? Not entirely. I could use a new career and moving from the Dirty South will be heavenly. I am, however, happy to be alive, happy enough to work on my exit strategies, and furthermore, I believe in myself! I still become angry, impatient, and anxious, now and then — but nothing like three months ago. We human beings are works in progress, albeit, we also have human emotions. Nonetheless, overall happiness will make the more difficult emotions last only briefly.

But That’s Not What This Article Is About

Sorry, I got off subject. Now, to get to my main point…

I follow another blogger and YouTube vlogger, named Te-Erika Patterson. She’s inspired me quite a bit, because she’s done things that I am going to do. For example: she just up and moved to Los Angeles, and through all of the ups and downs, she not only made it work, but gave grants to others who had done the same as she did. She has also written books, and she’s a relationship coach. These are all things that I am going to accomplish soon! (Except for being a relationship coach. But I am currently studying to become a life coach amongst other things).

Oops! I got off of the subject again. Sorry for all the segues, but I am really loving life today. When that happens, I become chatty…

So anyway, Te-Erika did a live broadcast on YouTube a few days ago, and I was lucky enough to be available to watch some of it, as well as make comments. One of the things that she said, really stood out to me. I’m paraphrasing, but she said something to the effect of, if you suddenly become the real you, people, friends, and family, will either think that you’ve become a phony, or they’ll think that you have flipped.

That really caught my attention because I’ve been gradually revealing my true self for the last several years. I chose to evolve gradually, because there is so much to learn, as well as so much to unlearn. I didn’t choose to reveal myself in intervals for the sake of others.

In this revelation, that has been taking place for revolutions, I’ve gotten side eyes, blank stares, shaken heads, derogatory comments, inaccurate assumptions, and called unfavorable names. This doesn’t offend me for two reasons: 1) They don’t understand, and obviously, they’re incapable of understanding, and 2) It’s my own fault.

Taking Ownership of Your Sh!t

It was I who chose to “go along to get along” for years. It was my fault that the people in my life became acclimated to the person that they thought I was, but only because I showed them that I was more like them. It’s also my fault that those same people have had difficulty becoming climatized to who, or what, they believe I’ve become — even though it’s really who I’ve always been. I was afraid, before, to show my true self because I didn’t think I would be understood — and that assumption turned out to be more true than false. That misunderstanding is the reason why some people believe that it’s fake, while others believe that I’ve flipped.

“What’s up with her and all of this Universe shit? Planets, meditation, crystals, and energy, and shit — why is she telling us that our pasts and futures, don’t exist? What’s wrong with her? Is she for real? WTFudge is she talking about? Does she even believe in God anymore?”

I’ve heard them all, and I refuse to dignify any of it with a response. I like that there’s a bit of mystery to me (like Prince. Lol!). Anyone who does not understand me, can either read Afrologik (which of course, I prefer), or they can exercise their right to not spend time, or communicate with me. I’d hope that not many would choose the latter (depending of who it is), but if it has to be that way, so be it. My happiness is attached to my freedom to be me — so that’s first and foremost.

Brandi Badd Ass Encourages You!

The truth is that depending on who your true self is, you might be scrutinized, but you should not let that stop you from being the person that you know you are. If freeing your spirit will make you happier and at your best (which it absolutely will. I promise you!), then do it!

Ask yourself the important questions:

Who am I? What do I like? What are my passions? What makes me happy? What happened to me? How do I correct the things that are wrong with me, according to me? What, or who, do I believe in?

You may not be able to answer those questions all at once. It might take days, weeks, or even months. Keep in mind that it took your whole life to become conditioned to be who you’ve become; it’s not reasonable to believe that you can become deconditioned overnight. (In fact, if you are able to accomplish that overnight, perhaps you really are faking it). Take time to get to know, or become reacquainted, with yourself. Take my word for it — it’s worth it! It feels great!

You Want Patience FROM Others, So You Have To BE Patient With Others

I can tell you to expect to be scrutinized and to be who you are in spite of it, all day, everyday, but still, somewhere deep down inside of you, you’ll have a mild expectation of patience from your friends and family — and that’s not terrible. The truth is that your friends and family SHOULD be patient and supportive of the things that make you happy — even if they don’t agree (as long as it’s positive, and no one is getting hurt). Regrettably, that’s not usually how it goes, and because of that, you’ve got to hold yourself accountable. Remember that their expectation of you is your fault. It was your choice to play the game, for whatever reason. Regardless of how gradual your evolution into your true self may be, it’s going to seem abrupt to those who have known you the longest. You’ve got to be patient with them, because it’s also a transition for them. Your circle has to learn and figure out how to become acclimated to, and support the person that you’ve evolved into — if they want to deal with it at all. They’ll consider your transition to be “the new you”, instead of the real you. Your conversation, likes, beliefs, tastes — and in some cases, even the food that you eat, will change. The types of people that you choose to associate with and the places you go will also change. That’s a lot for your loved ones to take in, so give them the time and space that you would appreciate from them.

Stop Faking The Funk!

“Life Ain’t So Bad At All (Allllll), If You Live It Off The Wall!”

~Michael Jackson

You might as well come out of your shell, because I’m just going to keep pushing you. Why? Because, I want you to know how amazing it feels to set your spirit free, evolve, stop living up to the expectations of others, and hang up your hang ups. I want you to dance as if no one is watching — even if everyone is watching (I do it all the time!). If you open your mind, and let it, as well as your soul lead, you’ll find that the air is easier to breathe, the sun shines brighter, the moon is more brilliant, and you’ll be at home with the stars — because you’re a star! You’re a planet. You’re already everything that you’ve ever wanted to be. Just keep it real with yourself, and you’ll see that everything that you’ve dreamed of is not coming true — it’s already there!

“No other version, no matter how perfect it is, would ever feel better than being your true self.” 
~Edmond Mbiaka

PS: Check out my Vlogs on YouTube! New vlogs each Thursday!

2 thoughts on “When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

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